Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
