In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
