Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just want to make out with him forever
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
