WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
