My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
