Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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