At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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