i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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