apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize