the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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