Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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