oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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