Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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