also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
