he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
