I smell stomach acid.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
