OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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