Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
