"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I understand Curling. That high.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
