Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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