So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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