i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize