It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
