Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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