I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
