Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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