Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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