I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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