My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
