Dual....:-)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
