I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
