distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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