my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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