I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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