I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
