I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
