'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
