Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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