I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
