Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
