What a fucking waste of an outfit
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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