I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize