Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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