So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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