Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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