can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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