OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
