I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Enjoy the penises
And then he peed in my hair
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