i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
