Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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