Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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