the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
