She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
