I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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