you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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