i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
