I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
