Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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