trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
