Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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