You smell like stripper and shame
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
