Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
